Pain
My pain is succinct. There is no fence to hold the tears. Her years, her life, which is so long, unfolds, ironed by the wind, trampled by the whims, kept in corners dusted with the telling of a tale. If only I could let go and trust a higher power. I am sick of trying and it infects my soul like some poison sipped slowly building up enough power to kill. If only I knew what the future held for all I love, and each of these I could let go! I must let go for no one can know what is held in fates' dim glass shattered by a world gone mad with laws, lacking in compassion and driven by fear.

The Pain of Control
What she really wanted to do was just to run away from the pain. When she couldn't run it was a helpless void that made her angry. If she could just go anywhere and not feel anything. It always came down to the trap. The trap, which choked her like, he did when he lost it. The trap of the world. I wished I could forget the curse that lay on me. I wished I could escape from the curse of life as it stood there staring so starkly at the wounds that it had inflicted in me through the years.
Where was my savior at times like these? Where was the love, which bled so I could be free? Why had I let these chains gain hold of me? Again
She needed to let go of all of it. She needed to rest in the assurance that a higher power was in control. We are never in control, Never. If we try to take control it only causes pain and frustration because we never are in control. The struggle hurts. It hurts to pull against our destiny; it hurts to realize that we have no real control. We are only here a short time compared with our eternal lives. That question is still not answered to her satisfaction. Why are we here? To worship and serve? That is one answer she had heard but if that was true then why here? Why not just be in heaven where worship and service are natural nature. Not here. Here there is only mankind's struggle to get things and go places. To be above others and exert power over the weak. And if they are not weak they must be made to feel weak. It is a trap which contains humanity.